Best Bootleg Versions of Spider-Man

I want to celebrate the release of Spider-Man: Homecoming this week but this is ‘’Over The Counter Culture’’, so to write a typical, five star, glowing review of the movie wouldn’t be right for this blog (Homecoming was the best Spider-Man movie yet though IMO). Instead I’ve done something I’ve been meaning to do for a while now anyway and compiled a list of the best (read: random, hilarious) bootleg versions of Spider-Man I’ve come across over the last few years.

6. Bollywood Spider-Girl aka Dariya Dil

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nah, it’s Bollywood Superman and his love interest/dance partner, a mask-less Bollywood Spider-Lady. We all love a good Marvel and DC crossover but this might be taking things a little too far. Still, this is probably better than Batman V.s Superman from what I’ve heard. (Sorry DC fan boys) but it’s definitely still a better love story than Twilight.

Bonus Bootleg:

Spider-Ganesh! Spider-Ganesh! Does whatever a deity can! Removes an obstacle any size, honoured at the start of rites! Look out! Here comes the Spider-Ganesh!

These two fight crime with the power of dance mostly but there is a scene wherein Superman punches a few dudes, blows one away (literally with his breath) and picks one guy up by the dick and throws him.




5. Spader-Man Toys

I’m more familiar with James Spader as Ultron from the movie Avengers: Age Of Ultron but who could have known that he’s also a cheap knock off Spider-Man action figure!

Woah!

 Seriously though, they could have changed the name to ‘’Spider-Hero’’ or ‘’Spider-guy’’ instead they chose to change the I to an A. You’ve got to love Engrish.

There’s a few of these out there…

 Collect your Spader-Man action figures today! Available at all $2 stores.

4. Japanese Spider-Man

This isn’t technically a bootleg…

 Emissary definition: a person sent as a diplomatic representative on a special mission.

Hell meaning: a place regarded in various religions as a spiritual realm of evil and suffering, often traditionally depicted as a place of perpetual fire beneath the earth where the wicked are punished after death.

Japanese Spider-Man is BADASS. As I was saying, this technically isn’t a bootleg. Marvel signed a 3 year licensing agreement to the Japanese company, Toei. Before this Spider-Man got his powers from Garia, the only surviving warrior of Planet Spider, he was a motorcycle racer. As well as gaining his powers and his really cool web shooter he also pilots a giant robot named Leopardon and his arch nemesis is a guy called Professor Monster. Total badass.

Toei are the same company that produced Super Sentai aka Power Rangers! Which makes all of the sense. 

Bonus Bootleg:
Also not a bootleg but 70’s Japanese Marvel licensing deal.. this time they licensed a Spider-Man manga by an artist named Ryoichi Ikegami. This series starts like your usual Spidey story. Boy gets bitten by spider, boy starts fighting crime, boy starts masturbating, boy starts thinking about killing everybody…wait, what?

 Here he is having a wank.

 And here he is thinking about going postal.

Eventually in this series he barely wears his Spidey outfit and it begins to only appear on the front covers or when he hears voices telling him to kill people (read: those little spidey faces in the picture above). It should also be noted that his main antagonists in this series are rapists and other Spider-Men who have the same costume and powers as him (he usually ends up killing them).

J. Jonah Jameson getting his throat ripped out by a dog is a bit more brutal than Gwen Stacy’s neck snapping.

Both of these Spider-Men appear in the Official Marvel comics Spider-Verse story line.

3. Spider-Man XXX

Spider-Man: Hoecumming would now also be a suitable title. 

Not much to say here. It’s Spider-Man porn, rule 35 of the internet, he shoots cum instead of web. Surprisingly, they have a large amount of Spidey’s friends and foes in the cast too which include Dr. Octopus (Dr. Cocktopus or Dr. Octopussy would have also worked), Liz, Gwen, Mary-Jane, Black Widow, Robbie Robertson, J.J. Jameson, Harry Osborn, Electro (as well as an electrocuted hooker), Betty Brant, The Kingpin and even Aunt May gets her kit off.

There’s a noteworthy parody scene of the famous Tobey McGuire/Kirsten Dunst upside down kiss in the rain, except this time it’s an upside down blow job. 

The only reason tears are streaming down anybody’s face in this version is because they’re deep throating a huge dick. Not because they’re a whiny sook. Sorry Tobey.

2. Turkish Spider-Man aka 3 Dev Adam

 Here we see Spider-Man as a crime leader in Istanbul with big beautiful eye lashes.

 Look at those luscious lashes.

He murders a woman with a boat propeller, is basically immortal and he kidnaps Captain America’s girlfriend. This movie is pretty nuts but if you want you can watch the whole thing on You Tube, good luck sitting through it though.

1. Italian Spider-Man

If you’ve ever spent any amount of time on the internet, you’ve probably seen the gif of this guy being amazed by something.

That famous gif is a scene from Italian Spider-Man. Italian Spider-Man is actually an Australian film made by Alrugo Entertainment. They wanted to capture the essence of of foreign film makers who misappropriated American pop culture in the 60’s and 70’s. Films like 3 Dev Adam, Turkish Star Wars and the Japanese Version of Spider-Man all played a huge part in the inspiration for this film which was released on You Tube in 2007 but claims to be a ‘’lost Italian film’’.

This Spider-Man is extremely misogynistic and sexist. In one scene he fights off a group of thugs for disrespecting a woman, tells them to respect women but then when the woman runs up to thank him, he punches her out and says…

Pronto.

This movie is definitely good for a laugh and has grown to be quite popular amongst fans of the original Foreign knock off films that inspired its creation.